RE-VISIONING POETRY: Help Students Revise with the Poetry Revision Checklist

“Rewriting is the essence of writing well—where the game is won or lost.” —William Zinsser. 

For years, this quote hung front and center in my classroom.  My students knew that revision was an important part of the writing process. I gave them plenty of time and space to write and rewrite and rewrite their stories and essays.

Revision is just as important with poetry. 

When I first started weaving poetry into my writing instruction, I discovered a common misconception. Most of my students thought polished poems just appeared on the page.  Pour out your thoughts and emotions, and... done! They were shocked to learn that sometimes I revise my own poems 20+ times before I feel they are "done." 

When I challenged my students to revise their own poems, I quickly learned that they didn't know where to start. They needed tools to help them dig into poetry revision. That's why I created this POETRY REVISION CHECKLIST.

To familiarize students with poetry revision, I model the process using one of my own poems, "Granny's Teapots," which appears in my poetry picture book FINDING TREASURE: A COLLECTION OF COLLECTIONS.

I begin by showing them the very first draft I wrote of the poem:

 

A line of fine old ladies

Plump and neat and proper

Perch atop the cabinets

In Granny’s kitchen

They wear party dresses

Florals, pinstripes, polka-dots

And wait oh so patiently for me to choose

Which will host our tea party

 

Then I walk through the POETRY REVISION CHECKLIST, showing how I applied each of the checklist actions and explaining my decisions. I mark my changes by using strikethrough for words I cut and red ink for words I add. This way, students can follow along with my revisions.

Checklist Action #1: I cut unnecessary, cluttering words. 

 

A line of fine old ladies

Plump and neat and proper

Perch atop the cabinets

In Granny’s kitchen.

They wear party dresses:

Florals, pinstripes, polka-dots,

And wait(ing)  oh so patiently For me to while I choose

Which will host our tea party

 

As Rita Dove says, "poetry is life distilled." The first thing I do when I revise is tighten my wording, distilling my words so the best ones shine on the page. In this case, I cut "plump" because using three adjectives to describe the teapots was overkill. I got rid of "In granny's kitchen" because I realized I could share that information in the title. In the second to last line, I cut "and" "oh so" because they were filler words that didn't add specific information.

Checklist Action #2: I changed vague, weak words into precise, strong words.

  

A line of fine old ladies

Neat prim and proper

Perch atop cabinets

They wear adorned in party dresses

Florals, Roses, pinstripes, polka-dots

Waiting, patient while choose

Which will host our tea party

 

I swapped "prim" for "neat" because it has a more formal meaning, which I thought better fit the occasion of a tea party. It also allowed me to add alliteration with the repeated "p" in "prim" and "proper" and "perch." I chose "adorned" because it also sounded a little more proper than "wear." Finally, instead of the general adjective "florals," I named a specific type of flower: "roses."

Checklist Action #3: I added literary devices.

 

A line of fine old ladies

Prim and proper

Perch atop cabinets

Adorned in party dresses

Roses, pinstripes, polka-dots

Some tall and thin, some short and squat

All pose, one arm akimbo

the other pointing high

Waiting, patient

While choose

Which will host our tea party

 

Since "Granny's Teapots" is personification poem, I added more description to further personify the teapots. (Learn more about reading and writing personification poems in my post "PERSONIFICATION POWER.")

Checklist Action #4: I revised my first line to grab the reader's attention.

 

A line of fine old ladies

So prim and proper

They perch atop cabinets

Adorned in party dresses

Roses, pinstripes, polka-dots,

Some tall and thin, some short and squat

All pose, one arm akimbo

The other pointing high

Waiting, patient while choose

Which will host our tea party

 

I decided the snappy alliteration of "prim" and "proper" would grab readers' ears more than my original beginning.

Checklist Action #5: I revised my last line so it rings.

 

So prim and proper

They perch atop cabinets

Adorned in party dresses

Roses, pinstripes, polka-dots

Some tall and thin, some short and squat

All pose, one arm akimbo

the other pointing high

Waiting, patient while choose

Which will host our tea party

Which will host our tea for two

 

I ended the poem with "tea for two" instead of "tea party" because "two" is a near rhyme for "choose." The similar "ooo"sound of those words gives the poem a satisfying final ring.

Checklist Action #6: I added line breaks and/or stanzas to give the poem structure.

 

So prim and proper

They perch atop cabinets

Adorned in party dresses

Roses

Pinstripes

Polka-dots

Some tall and thin

Some short and squat

All pose

One arm akimbo

The other pointing high

Waiting

Patient

While choose

Which will host

our tea for two

 

Up until this point, my poem looked pretty squished on the page. Many ideas ran together. I wanted the reader to pause and notice all of the different types of teapots. So, I added more line breaks, sometimes placing only one adjective or action on a line. Stretching the poem out helped me better emphasize each idea.

Checklist Action #7: I added punctuation to control the poem's flow.

 

So prim and proper,

they perch atop cabinets,

adorned in party dresses.

Roses,

pinstripes,

polka-dots.

Some tall and thin,

some short and squat.

All pose,

one arm akimbo,

the other pointing high-

waiting,

patient,

while choose:

Which will host

our tea for two?

Surprise, surprise! Poems use punctuation too. While poems don't have to follow the same strict grammar rules as paragraphs, punctuation helps the reader know when to pause, when to rush forward, and how ideas relate.

 

Checklist Action #8: I added an informative, catchy title.

 

Finally, I added the title “Granny’s Teapots.” This poem is part of a book of poems, each once about a different person in a neighborhood with a special collection. I wanted the titles to be straightforward and quickly tell readers who the poem is about and what that person collects.

Here is the finished version of "Granny's Teapots" published in FINDING TREASURE: A COLLECTION OF COLLECTIONS.  

Try using my POETRY REVISION CHECKLIST with your students.  It will help them win the revision game! 

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About Michelle Schaub

Michelle Schaub is a language arts teacher and award-winning children's poet. She is the author of the picture book poetry collections Fresh-Picked Poetry: A Day at the Farmers’ Market  and Finding Treasure: A Collection of Collections. She is also the author of two picture books in verse, Dream Big, Little Scientists and Kindness is a Kite String: The Uplifting Power of Empathy. Her poems appear in several anthologies, including  Great Morning! Poems for School Leaders to Read Aloud.  Michelle loves visiting schools and speaking at conferences on the power of poetry to boost literacy. Find out more at:  https://www.michelleschaub.com/.